The Pudding Diet

For the last six weeks I've been doing a body challenge at my gym.  It consists of going to classes, mostly weight lifting, (which I'm rocking out at) and following the Zone Diet while tracking all calories (which I succeed  at...sometimes).  The problem with the Zone Diet is that it isn't wine friendly, and I'm much more friendly with wine, just ask my boyfriend.  I have been using the My Plate calorie counter at livestrong.com to track my calories.  Yesterday I tracked 320 calories of just chocolate pudding and still made it in at the recommended 1200 calories without feeling deprived.  Which leads me to believe that the dawn of The Pudding Diet is right around the corner.  I've even converted my boyfriend.  The other day I came home to find him ferociously stirring the contents of a sauce pan, eyes narrowed, brow furrowed.

"Whatcha making?"

"Pudding."

"Oh!  Excellent I have reserved 250 calories today just for that purpose."

"It's not working."

What do you mean it's not working?  Pudding is a no fail dessert, the only exception being the month I decided to drink only almond milk and wound up with more lumpy chocolate almond milk than actual pudding, though even then it was tasty.  You combine 1 package of Instant Fat Free Sugar Free Chocolate pudding mix with 2 cups of milk (the pudding diet recommends skim) and you stir until thickened.  To speed up the process you can lovingly place the bowl in the fridge for 10 minutes.  To truly feel decadent you can then mix in a few tblspoons of Cool Whip and top it all with a few shakes of cinnamon, which makes the whole creation more like fluffy chocolate mousse than pudding (and also doubles it's size..winning).  If you're in the mood for ice cream try blending half a packet of pudding mix, a cup of milk and ice cubes to make a ridiculously creamy and delicious chocolate pudding shake.  Even better add in a frozen banana or some peanut butter - it's sexy pudding.  

"Did you add 2 cups of milk?"

"Yes"

"Is this the package?" - picks up blue box from counter

"Yes"

"You know this is Instant Pudding right?"

"What?"

"It's Instant, you don't make it on the stove."

"But I wanted it hot." 

Oh boy.  It is true that I do most of the cooking in our household.  This is 1) because I honestly do love to cook and 2) see story above.  My boyfriend's mother, who is also a fabulous cook, made dinner for us awhile back and turned me onto Spicy Cuban Mojo Chicken with Avocado Mango salsa.  I am now addicted.  Since eating it at her house it has made a regular appearance at mine.  It's easy, ridiculously tasty, and looks great too.  Last week I switched it up and made it with salmon which was also divine.  I didn't marinate the fish but still rubbed it with the seasonings and it came out great.  Just preheat your oven to 350, sear the fish for like a minute each side (I had half pound filets..adjust accordingly) then finish it off for 7-10 minutes in the oven.  Glorious!  The sauce is also key, as is the butter in it.  I forgot to add it at the end and just added it in with everything else and it didn't seem to make a difference.  I also didn't following the recipe when it came to the amounts of juice, soy sauce, etc.. just added it all in and kept tasting AND I used pineapple juice instead of orange.  I'm sure following the recipe to the letter would also result in a glorious meal, I just don't, I'm a rebel like that.  

Serve this to your significant other and you'll be sure to knock their socks off!

• 
  
• Ingredients
• 1 teaspoon cumin seed
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 fresh red chile pepper, chopped
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 5 teaspoons orange juice
• 5 teaspoons lemon juice
• 2 (8 ounce) boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
•  
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1/2 cup orange juice
• 1 teaspoon lime zest
• 1 teaspoon honey
• 1 teaspoon sweet soy sauce
• 1/4 cup cold, unsalted butter, cut into pieces
• 1/2 cup diced mango
• 1/2 avocado
• chopped fresh cilantro to taste
• chopped fresh parsley to taste

Directions

1. Toast the cumin seeds in a dry skillet over medium-high heat until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Place the cumin seeds, garlic, chile pepper, salt, olive oil, orange juice, and lemon juice into the bowl of a blender; grind to a coarse paste. Toss the chicken with the marinade, then place into the refrigerator, and allow to marinate for about 2 1/2 hours.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
3. Heat a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook the chicken for 2 to 3 minutes on each side until browned. Place into the oven, and cook until the juices run clear, about 8 minutes. When the chicken is done, remove, cover with foil, and allow to rest for 3 to 5 minutes.
4. While the chicken is in the oven, whisk together the olive oil, orange juice, lime zest, honey, and soy sauce in a skillet over medium-high heat. Simmer until the orange juice has reduced to 1/3 of original volume and is beginning to get thick and syrupy. Once thick, remove from heat, and whisk in the butter pieces one at a time until melted; set aside.
5. To serve, place chicken on the plate and sprinkle with mango and avocado. Drizzle with the sauce, and garnish with cilantro and parsley.

Serve it wearing this and you'll knock their everything else off too. ;) 

Saute What Your Mama Gave Ya

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to catch up with an old college friend over coconut lime mojitos and edamame at Rockwell in downtown GR.  The mojitos were fabulous, with just enough Malibu to take me back to my college days when Malibu and I were bff and then return me to the present before I could find myself passed out on a stranger's bathroom floor using my pants for a towel.    The edamame was way too salty, I'd highly recommend asking for the salt on the side unless you want to leave retaining more water than an Atkins addict on a popcorn binge.  The conversation was, obviously, excellent and between discussing her life as a professional tourist, ie flight attendant, of which I was and still am extremely jealous, my far less glamorous life coaching voice here in GR, her boyfriend who wants to marry her in Israel, and my boyfriend who pretends he doesn't hear me when I talk about getting married, she mentioned that she read my blog Feeling Seoul-ful from when I was living in South Korea and suggested I write another one, about food.  And so, Sexy Food was born.  I figured people were more likely to read a blog with the word "sex" in the title, and "Bitchin Kitchen" was already taken.  


I love food.  I have always loved food.  I blame my ever epicurean mother to whom this post is dedicated.  A former babysitter of mine loves to tell the story of when she suggested making mac and cheese for dinner and I promptly turned my cute button nose up at her and said, "Alright, but only if it's made with gruyere, cheddar is so 10 minutes ago."  Alright, so I made that up.  But I did ask for baked chicken which to a five year old is basically the same thing.  Everything I know and love about food I have learned from my mother.  I've learned that searing a pot roast before letting it simmer for hours in beef broth and red wine will, without fail, result in fork tender meat.  And when I say, "without fail" I really mean it.  Even if the oil gets way too hot, starts smoking, and sets off the fire alarm, causing you to panic and run with said pot out onto the front porch where you set it down on the polyester rug which promptly melts to the pot's bottom and then run the roast back inside with your bare hands before depositing it into a simmering pot of beef broth and red wine, it will still result in fork tender meat.  I've learned that grapes are best consumed crushed, fermented, and poured from a glass bottle and that consuming them as such will not only result in a much better eating experience, but a far superior life in general.  And most importantly I've learned the importance of presentation.  My first job was at the local Dairy Queen and before I left for my first day of work, after being fully trained on the "ball" "curl" and "cone dipping" procedures my mother handed me my purple visor and said, "Remember Jessica, people eat with their eyes."  Twenty minutes later I would find myself in the middle of a lunch time ice cream rush reminding my sundae slinging colleagues of the importance of whip cream placement on their banana splits, "People eat with their eyes."  


Last weekend my boyfriend volunteered us to make Sunday dinner for his family.  There would be nine people there, including his grandma who hardly eats anything, his dad who is watching his diet post heart attack, and his nephews ages 8 and 4.  I was actually least concerned about the nephews who when asked what they'd like to eat, if they could have anything, would answer "steak and lobster," they are truly boys after my own heart.  So I called my mother.  An hour, and two glasses of red wine later we had decided on a recipe that would be tasty, healthy, and crowd pleasing while still letting me show off a little: "Chicken with White Wine and Shallots" better known in my family as "Lemon Chicken," which is funny because there's actually very little lemon juice in it (see recipe below).    For dessert we decided on a trifle with angel food cake, fat free vanilla pudding, and fresh berries.  Glorious.  

So Sunday afternoon we set off to the grocery store, recipe in one hand, cell phone programmed with my mother's number in the other.  I'll admit I was starting to feel the pressure, we'd been dating for over a year but this was the first time I had been called upon to make Sunday dinner.  Add to that the fact that he had previously bragged about my cooking, and that I'm my mother's daughter, and I think it's fair to say I entered Meijer as tightly wound as an Olympic sprinter on the starting blocks waiting for the gun to go off.  I'd been training my whole life for this.  Things were going well, we found actual chicken breast tenders which would save me time cutting breasts into strips, and black berries were on sale 3/$5.  All I needed was a trifle bowl and we'd be set. 


"Does your mom have a trifle bowl we can use?"
"A what?"
"For the dessert, you need a glass bowl that has a stem, so it looks nice."
"Can't you just use a bowl?"
"No.  Does she have one?"
"I don't know."
"Ok, well we'll have to get one then.  It's cool, I wanted one anyway."
"Are you sure you aren't going a little over board..."


And that's when I snapped.  Over board?  Because I want to make a dessert that requires a specific bowl?  Why don't you just tell Picasso to paint with only one brush?  Or Michael Jordan to wear Reeboks?  Or Taylor Swift to perform live without auto tune?  


"Fine.  Then why don't we just make hot dogs."  


And that's when he snapped.  Hot dogs?  Are you implying that my family only eats hot dogs?  My family has had many fine dinners that are not hot dogs.  


"I don't think that was a necessary comment, you don't need to attack my family."    


"That's not what I meant at all."  - As a side note, that really was not what I meant at all.  Upon seeing my extensive shopping list earlier he had made a joke that, "Maybe we should just make hot dogs," as shopping to feed nine adds up quickly.  Also, I would just like to make it known that there is nothing wrong with hot dogs.  I love hot dogs.  If I wrote the story of my life chapter 3 would be entitled, "My Love Affair with Hot Dogs," and would document how when I was a child my mother refused to buy them but forgot about a package left over from a school function hidden in the depths of the basement freezer.  I discovered this package one afternoon while foraging for ice cream. For the next 3 months whenever my parents would go out for dinner I would run to the basement, butter knife in hand, grab the precious dogs from their secure location behind a bag of frozen blueberries open the package and pry one loose before scurrying back up stairs, carefully wrapping the dog in plastic wrap, and microwaving it until the skin popped open and it oozed delicious processed goodness.  


"I'm sorry, I'm just a little stressed.  This is the first time I've gotten to cook and I just want to make it nice for everyone."
"I'm sorry too.  Let me make it up to you by pledging my eternal love and devotion, and funding a shopping spree to Crate & Barrel."  


Or maybe not.  But we did apologize and make an excellent dinner.  The chicken was tender, the sauce not too salty, the asparagus crisp.  His grandma even said it was the best dinner she'd had in "a blue moon," I'm not sure what that means, but I'll take it.  

Chicken with Wine and Shallots (Green Onions)

Makes Four Servings

Preparation time: 25 Minutes

Cooking time: 20 Minutes

3 whole boneless chicken breasts, about 1½ pounds salt if desired and freshly ground   pepper to taste ( I cut chicken into strips)

¼ cup flour

2 tablespoons olive oil, or corn, peanut or vegetable oil, approximately may need more

2 tablespoon butter

1 tablespoon finely minced garlic

¼ cup chicken broth

1/3 cup dry white wine

Juice of  ½ lemon

¼ cup finely chopped fresh parsley

½ cup chopped green onions ( white and green stems)

1. Put breasts on flat surface to remove peripheral fat or cartilage.  Cut breasts in half, then into 1½ inch pieces. ( I choose to cut in strips)

2. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Coat with flour.

3. You will need 2 skillets in which to cook this dish.

4. Heat tablespoon of oil in nonstick skillet and when very hot, add about half of chicken pieces without crowding.  Cook, turning pieces so they cook evenly.  Have tablespoon of butter heating in second pan and cook chicken for 3 minutes or until golden brown, transfer to second skillet.

5. Heat remaining tablespoon of oil in first skillet and when it is hot, add second batch of chicken.  Cook 3 minutes or until golden brown all over.  Add to first batch of chicken pieces.  Add garlic and green onions/ shallots let sauté for a few minutes/ and toss to blend.

6. Add broth, wine, lemon juice and parsley.  Cover chicken mixture closely and let simmer 2 or 3 minutes. The flour will thicken up this delicious dish!

Bon Appetite.